True Love

Jeremy and my 10 year Anniversary is only a couple days away. Looking over our pictures I came accross this poem I wrote, and I couldn't believe it! For one, I like it. But I can't believe I gave it to him when we'd only known each other 3 1/2 weeks!!!! We were crazy kids, even if we were 27. Nowadays there's a lot more, "you always..." and "you never..."s which is so petty and stupid, but there's more depth, too, and when we say, "I love you" we know who it is we're saying that to!

In honor of Beginnings and surviving 10 years (and 4 kids), I thought I'd finally go public with this romantic poem. You gotta know I'm blushing as I copy...


To: Jeremy
A Poem
How do I feel?
Let me tell you...
From: Laura
2/23/98

My senses have been flooded
with a whirlpool of colors and emotions
I want to pause,
stop,
rest... just a moment.

A moment
A drop of time to gaze at the colors
to contemplate their meaning.

I see
I feel,
I see a backdrop of hazy, misty green,
A soft, foggy confusion
that penetrates the corners.
Spots of intensity flow by me
Swirling
Swooshing,
Trailing tails like comets
Blues, purples, deep, deep reds -
Oh! all the colors of the rainbow!
Yet so intense
To gaze at one is to be overwhelmed...
Your hugs,
Your eyes,
Your hand asking for mine...
....oh! your eyes!
Gazing steadily into mine
I have to look away!
Yet you gaze on...
No, I cannot focus on the bright, flying colors.

Then I see your words
Your expressed thoughts.
They hold less shape, their outlines softer,
Flexing,
Remolding,
Shifting
"The more I know you, WHO YOU ARE is what
I've always wanted in a woman"
"You are beautiful"
"We have the same heart!"
"Mine! All mine!"
(I am yours!)

But there's more... more! (always more)
Dizzy with the colors, the emotions,
I try to focus...
Behind these
Encompassing these
flowing right through all these
Are the deepest spots
Hard to define
Hard to see, let alone clarify -
Yet they are the substance of the rest.

It is the moment your eyes first lock on mine,
The expression of awed pleasure
that flows over your face
like a cloud-shadow on the countryside.
Your intake of breath as I take your arm.
It is that unexpected moment
I turn into your surprise embrace.
That first time I heard your heart beat
watching the river in the rain.
That "Oh!" you whisper
when you reach out to gently touch
my face

Shshshshsh....

Oh, I am speechless
words have ceased
thoughts melted away.
I sit in silence.
I am overwhelmed
and a little frightened.

(Whisper!)
How do I respond to such a man?
What can I say?
What can I do?
How do I tell him... You?

I have seen you with my mind,
calculated my response,
tried to hold my own...
But you have swept me away
So that I seek for my footing again.

Oh, I could soak a long time
In the impressions you have flooded me with.

Do I dare draw near you again?

My entire being,
My whole soul longs for your company -

Yet, I will keep this moment,
Just a spot of time
To gaze in wonder
To relax
To float
To spin slowly, more gently
In this whirlpool,
'Til I feel the ground again
Under my feet
And I know who I am
who I have been
And who I dream to be
Again.

Then I will
Draw near you
To see you
Be with you...
(With you!)
My own, dear Jeremy.