Raising Kids

This is SO huge. Everyone is so opinionated, too. Right from birth people are telling new parents what to do - before, actually. There's so many ways to get it wrong, maybe, or so many things to remember. It's not enough to feed, cloth, and bathe 'em. And everyone has a different opinion of the progress or the goal.



I have said and believe that LOVE comes first, and will cover a ton of mistakes. ("Mistake" being a concept assuming there's a plumb line somewhere, which, quite frankly, is really, really vague.)



What's next?! Food is a good place to start - kids are expensive! They have their own opinions, which have nothing to do with nutrition, too. So, how much to spend? How often to give into requests? Take for example the sudden onslaught of before-bed hunger. Someone could remark that no one needs to eat immediately before sleeping. But what if it's the 4 yr. old that didn't get much to eat at dinner? Consistantly?! Do I send him to bed hungry with big, blue eyes tearing up and a tummy growling? Do I just give in to him and make the others go to bed "hungry"? Good grief. I have compromised to what delicious treats are available - it's a banana or nothing. "Can I have two bananas, Mom? Pleeeeeaaaaaase?" begs my oldest. Even an ultimatum has room for negotiation, apparently. I need to go buy more bananas.



Since Daddy's at home a lot, we do a ton together as a family. We had a snowball fight this week and built a snowman. We watched Spiderman 2 & 3 together two nights in a row. (Camten's still squirting webbing all over as he swings around the house.) At homework time, everyone finds something to work on or quietly plays in the bedroom. There's pictures being colored, all kinds of writing and paper-cutting and even gluing on occasion. Aidan reads his books to all of us making us guess what will happen next. Shad usually determines how long Homework Time is - if he gets right to it, it's quite short, but he can dink around and extend it to an hour or more. He's got the most, being the oldest.

Sometimes I wish I could describe every minute of what we do to all those opinionated people out there. There's a good chance they could add a suggestion that would fit perfectly. But then I hit my mental wall of "Perfection". If I perceive I should be doing something differently than I am - by reading a professional "how to" or listening to someone's ideas - I take on the extra burden. I carry an extra SHOULD on top of all the rest I'm trying to fulfill. I am so quick to point out my Mistakes to myself, too. More great suggestions are very like more personal ammo.

Failure is not an option raising kids, you know.

So... I don't know what comes after Love. We're working on Confidence right now and Freedom of Expression. (Maybe I taught more of my Perfectionism before Expression that reduced Confidence along the way.) I'm also focusing on getting through the stuff we don't like so we can spend more time on the stuff we DO like... or NOT procrastinating. (Which I'm sure I also accidently taught.) Pretty serious concepts for a bunch of little people... I mean, for ME!